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Why?

It’s the question I find my mind asking again and again. Just plain “Why?”

Why is my life so hard? Why is my day filled with so many struggles? Why can’t I attain all those things I aspire for? Why don’t I have the special children that I see others have? Why don’t I have their money, and why don’t have their happiness? Why?

And I’ve heard the common answer to this question (after all, it really does boil down to one question): “You have the life that you’re meant to have. It’s the perfect life for you. The pleasure and joy that you see by others are good for them and only for them. Every day in your life is a day that is tailored just for you.”

While this answer to some degree counteracts the thoughts of “life is not fair,” it doesn’t give me a sense of happiness. I’m not feeling very grateful about “my tailored life”. As much as I believe that this life is perfect for me, I still wish that I had a life that was tailored just for me without pain and struggles. And as much as I know that the joy that I see by others is not meant for me, I still think: “If I was only them then a life of joy and happiness would be a life that was meant just for me.”

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